2001: A Space Odyssey

This one is an absolute snooze-fest. One, wasn’t actually made in 2001 – what’s up with that? Two, not actually shot in space. Three, barely an odyssey. There’s way too many flaws with the title alone, so how can the movie itself be all it’s chalked up to be?

Citizen Kane

This movie is always grouped with Casablanca and other ‘film masterpieces’ of the time. I’m gonna be honest, I’ve never seen this movie. I mean, I saw Casablanca, so how different can they be? Casablanca was fine, but kind of boring, so I’m going to apply that same observation to this one.

Rebel Without a Cause

I’ve never seen this one either, but I’ve heard that James Dean applies to my demographic, my demographic being ‘teenage girl’, so I’d probably like this movie. But even then, I still don’t see this on my watchlist. Too lazy.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Ok this one I’ve actually seen. It wasn’t that good. I mean, it was fine. I understand its importance in the early horror genre, but if I really wanted to experience terrified teenagers running away from a guy with a weird face, I would send a clown to one of those parties in the woods.

Gone With the Wind

Never saw this one. Who left with the wind? Who’s gone? Slavery? Racism? I have so many questions. I’m sure it’s answered in the film, but I’m not gonna watch a movie with such a vague title. Don’t trust it already.

Titanic

Okay, I like this movie, but remember the whole ‘teenage girl’ demographic thing? Listen, no spoilers, but the ship sinks and things start to go downhill really quickly.

Farewell My Concubine

This one is an international movie, really popular in China. I’ve never seen it, but I doubt it has a happy ending where everything works out, in fact, I bet it’s a big old bummer. Unrequited love? Please. Why would I watch a movie about that when it’s already my life. Pass.

The Godfather

I was so very wrong about this one. I wrote this, but then I went and watched it. This movie is actually so good. This one doesn’t deserve to be on here.

Pride and Prejudice

Again, teenage girl speaking here, this one is cute, but it’s so riddled with miscommunication and tension, you might as well just visit a middle school dance.

The Breakfast Club

Another one I’ve seen! Ok, I love Brad Pitt and all, but is it that satisfying to watch these guys getting beaten up over and over again for the sake of being manly? I mean- Oh, what’s that? I’m talking about Fight Club? Nevermind guys, that one’s on me.