Q: I am really excited for Halloween, but I feel like I can’t go trick-or-treating. What should I do?

A: Try going as a teenager who studies and does their homework. You are sure to be complimented for your space alien costume.

Q: I’m a human male of any weight, and I can breathe without assistance; the football kids are telling me to join the team. Should I do it?

A: Well, considering that you meet the strict requirements for team membership, I think you should do it! They can always use some extra help.

Q: I’m worried North Korea will bomb us; can you help me calm down?

A: Just think about the fact that North Korea might be able to obliterate us with a nuclear bomb, but they can’t break our spirit!

Q: I feel like I’m still exhausted from taking the PSAT two weeks ago. How can I recover?

A: Many people suffer from PSAT PTSD. As long as you don’t suffer from B.O. after studying all night, you will soon be A-OK.