Q: I feel like this school year will never end. How can I make the 4th quarter go by faster?

A: Little games will help you pass the time. Try playing a numbers game with the points tally for Olympics. It should be pretty easy to manipulate them so that the seniors win.

Q: I’m a senior and I need some motivation to care about APs. Any ideas?

A: APs stink. You just have to take them and get it over with quick. Like the hockey team’s playoff run.

Q: I’m not doing a sport this season and I feel lazy. How should I exercise?

A: You’ve already exercised enough. In my personal experience, opening boxes of Girl Scout cookies suffices for my daily amount of exercise.

Q: The weather is warm now, but my friends say I complain about it too much. What can I do to stop?

A: Don’t worry, your complaining will never be worse than theater kids complaining about how late their tech rehearsal went last night. Everyone is dying to know about how hard your life is, so don’t stop the steady stream of whining.