Quarantine Journal: My Life Indoors

Emma Crotty, Freshman, Staff Reporter

Day 1: 

Dear Journal, 

My life has been turned upside down and there is no end in sight. The media portrays this pandemic as a life threatening issue, and other people say this shouldn’t be considered a large threat. When I turn on the news I am appalled to see the large numbers and I almost forget that there are faces and family members attached to them. Life in itself is so difficult and perplexing, and the most concerning thing is that the only way to help is by distancing ourselves from one another. With this time posing so much strain on everyone, and nowhere to turn for support, it has been hard to perform everyday things and regular tasks have become tedious

 

Day 2: 

Dear Journal, 

My schedule is no longer existent, I wake up to go to classes online, and I am completely overwhelmed by the amount of work. My teachers are considerate of the circumstances, however the lack of a routine is what causes me stress. My family has tried to stick to a schedule, however with all of us in the house at once for the first time in years, it is extremely difficult to maintain focus for long periods of time. I have been restricted to an endless cycle of the same activities and they have been the only way to get my mind off of the scary world that is surrounding me. 

 

Day 3: 

Dear Journal, 

I have stopped watching the news because the media is continuously contradicting itself. Blogs and news articles have been creating stories highlighting the importance of getting outside, and keeping distance, but then criticizing people for leaving their houses. Personally I could not imagine a life in quarantine without spending time outdoors, and I feel as though so many people in my community feel the same. The sidewalks seem to be getting more action because more people are needing to take a step back from home-life to maintain their mental health. This time is getting more difficult to handle with people insulting those who aren’t living perfect lives at home. With negativity overwhelming social media  it has become so much more important not to pay attention to the madness and focus more on what people can control, their physical and mental health. 

 

Day 4: 

Dear Journal, 

It is a weird time in history and to think about what the future could hold is so strange. As nearly a month of quarantine has passed, the normal has become family walks, online classes, parents always at home, and a lot of family time. As of today there is no word as to when the world will reopen, and the panic that has been stricken by this idea is felt worldwide. It seems as though nothing has remained the same. My family is completely placed in a different element. My sister was sent home from college, my dad is working from home for the first time in his career, and my mom was reassigned to the ICU at a New York City hospital. Life just seems like we are so far off from the end of battling this disease, and it is scary to think about everything and everyone that has been lost to it. 

 

Day 5

Dear Journal, 

I have been trying to lessen the negativity in my life, and I know a lot of other people are trying to do the same. My family and I have been talking to so many people and constantly checking in on the people in my family who are considered high risk in this situation. My grandma for instance is in an extremely compromised position being an almost 80 year old diabetic, and she has positioned a lot of strain on my family. We have been trying to ensure that she is safe and healthy, while she remains in her nursing home, but it is scary because there is nothing we can do but call her everyday to “check in ”. This is a similar situation to many other families who feel helpless because of this period of isolation. 

 

Day 6: 

Dear Journal, 

My mom came home today from the ICU, and told me about her experience because I was curious about her “unbiased” perspective. She had been assigned to a pediatric ICU in CHONY to do 12 hour shifts as a nursing assistant. I didn’t see her before she left that morning, but the night before, she was told that she would have to go into the hospital and with no other information she agreed. She said she walked into the hospital blindly with no expectations, but she was met by a graduate. The nurses working were bruised, sweaty, and tired and they didn’t care who it was who walked through the doors, all they needed was to know that it was someone willing to help. She was immediately assigned to 2 patients, neither of which had COVID-19 and she did everything in her power to ensure that she was maintaining the safety of herself and patients. Unfortunately, in order to do so it required changes of gowns for each new room she entered. After she told me this the severity of the shortage of equipment was made clearer because the changes were needed to ensure there were no new exposures within the hospital and she said she must have changed 8 times. At the end of the day my mom said she felt better about her situation, she had been feeling guilt and she said it disappeared once she knew that she had helped. 

 

Day 7

Dear Journal, 

My parents have always said that my siblings and I are addicted to our phones, although I do not think I could ever get through this pandemic  without one. Coronavirus has taken away my friends, my family, and my teams. Without the social interactions that I have been getting for the last 15 years of my life, I have been left feeling alone. I know that I am not the only one living in solitude because using social media and my phone I have been able to talk to my friends and family, and I have discovered that everyone is in the same position. During this time texting, calling, FaceTiming, Zooming, and even the virtual classrooms have been the only method of communication and it has been so interesting to see how much my life has changed just because of the removal of everyday social interactions that I have taken for granted. 

 

Day 8 

Dear Journal, 

As a 15 year old it seems strange to be living through a time in history where potentially my life is at risk. Nothing is clear, and that is what worries me. There are constant reports of children contracting the infection and passing away, and I can’t help but wonder what separates me from them. I am aware that some may have underlying illnesses, although the idea that people my age and even more people of parents’ age  are dying is terrifying. I have been stripped of my favorite things and the time spent with family although it is nice, is strange under the forced conditions. Living is fear of death is not a positive way of thinking, and it leads to many negatives, although unfortunately it seems as though it is the way so many people are living today. 

 

Day 9: 

Dear Journal, 

The days seem to be never ending. Time seems to go by so much slower because I am constantly searching for things to occupy it. I have tried to find different hobbies to add to my day, but I can never get past the lack of motivation and lethargy because there is nowhere to go. I regret not taking advantage of every moment I got to spend at school with my friends and teachers because like so many other things you only appreciate it when they’re gone. When quarantine is over, whether that is 1 month or 1 year from now, I feel as though people will not take for granted anything. This time has been an eye opening experience for so many people because it is not like anything that has happened in my lifetime. 

 

Day 10: 

Dear Journal, 

My family and I have discussed how different the world is going to be after this disease passes. The emergence of this infection has reminded people of the importance of so many concepts. People will no longer go to school or work when they feel ill, there will not be any shortages of equipment, and the world will overall live preparing for another pandemic. The number of deaths world wide will make Coronavirus infamous for causing the world terror and worry in some of the strongest nations. This disease has disrupted the lives of everyone in some way and it will change the world.