The Pel Mel

  • June 23Graduation Ceremonies Moved Indoors to MS Gym in Anticipation of Rain Storm

  • June 22Class of 2018 Graduates on 6/23

  • June 1Boys Lacrosse Completes an Unbelievable Comeback To Win Section

The Ben Commandments

Humorous Advice You Never Really Asked For

Junior+Ben+Glickman+is+happy+to+provide+you+with+some+useless+advice+--+so+don%27t+take+it+too+seriously.
Junior Ben Glickman is happy to provide you with some useless advice -- so don't take it too seriously.

Junior Ben Glickman is happy to provide you with some useless advice -- so don't take it too seriously.

Lucy Edmunds, Freshman

Lucy Edmunds, Freshman

Junior Ben Glickman is happy to provide you with some useless advice -- so don't take it too seriously.

Ben Glickman, Junior, Co-Editorial Director

Q: I don’t really like Christmas ham. Are there any alternatives that you recommend?
A: Try kale! Kale is very nutritious, and may have some subtle taste on a good day! Not to mention, it’s kosher, so you can bring it to that Chanukah party you weren’t planning on going to.

Q: Do you have any creative ideas for gifts to get my family for the holidays?
A: The best gift you give is love. A close second would be a beautiful copy of the Ben Commandments, signed by yours truly! You could also go a different route, and give your loved ones a beautiful bundle of kale! See above.

Q: I’m worried about drinking the water from the water fountains after the whole “brown water” incident. What should I do?
A: Just think of the brown water that, from time to time, pours out of our water fountains as chocolate milk — without the chocolate and without the milk. The folks in Flint, Michigan love it!

Q: I hate the cold because winter clothing is too bulky. What should I wear that’s warm and makes me look cool?
A: I recommend putting a fun new twist on old trends. For example, instead of a feather boa, wear an actual boa constrictor. You’re sure to get some interested looks

Leave a Comment

If you want a picture to show with your comment, go get a gravatar.




The School Newspaper of Pelham Memorial High School
The Ben Commandments